...but don't forget the rules!

The first of the Midweek Mandates: (was to be Monday's mandates, but due a case of overblog has been postponed to today).

1.Unless you are his partner, never talk to a man who is holding his penis.

• (b) Or in the same room other men are holding theirs.
• (This mainly applies to blokes who feel the need to chat to you when you are at the urinal in public toilets, particularly at the pub.)

I have seen this rule mentioned before in 'general rules for men' type lists floating around out there, but the current rule leaves an opening for general discussion within the toilets away from the urinal, and needs considerable tightening up.

Blokes do not need to go to the toilets in pairs, and do not need to hang out in toilets chatting. Invariably, blokes toilets smell worse than girls do, and any more time spent in them than completely necessary is unpleasant and probably unhealthy.

Also, men's toilets are well known for the lack of queues and the speedy way you are able to do your business and get back to drinking/dancing/watching the band/waiting for your girlfriend to come out of the ladies with a "jeez..how much longer do you reckon you could take? I've already had another pint!" ready.
this is something for which most men are justifiably proud. We don't need stupid coloured, faux hawked/ urban mulleted/ collar up/ pink shirt wearing/posers buggering it up for the rest of us. So if you feel the need to chat...

.......the women's is next door!

nb. this rule does not apply to the scrotum. This exemption exists in order that people can actually speak to a man while he is asleep, or watching TV (which are essentially the same thing mentally). As for holding them while you sleep, this is NECESSARY. Every man knows there were many cases in the OLDEN DAYS (when things were in black and white and testicles highly prized for their health benefits when dessicated and made into a refreshing tea) of testicle theft in the dead of night. It's for protection.
The mere fact that not many women sleep holding their boobs shows the frivolous disregard they have for their own security.