...but not as fast as I can walk!
He considered himself fairly fit. Obviously, walking everywhere and taking the stairs in preference to the escalator meant that, if necessary, he could walk to the other side of the country.
The sheer speed at which this walking took place, the weaving in and out of the slower pedestrian traffic – old people, lost tourists, women with prams – was a clear demonstration of his walking prowess.
It was only logical, then, that this would translate to other fields of endeavour, (logical, perhaps, if one had no concept whatsoever of the body’s athletic behaviour).
So he got out his pushbike which had not been ridden for a number of years. Pumped up the tyres, oiled the chain, and way he went…until the first hill.
Death came slowly, painfully. It started in the chest as the very air seemed to thicken, the oxygen flow to the body reduced to a trickle. Then the legs went, becoming columns of molten lava (an aside: I’ve noticed ‘lava’ is often referred to as molten, but isn’t this redundant?) as they began to disintegrate…. And so on.
Point is, I’m clearly ridiculously unfit. So I’ll need to focus on riding everyday or something to fix that. Or have a full organ transplant. All of them.
posted by Nabla @ 12:54 pm
2 comments
2 Comments:
Betcha you can't walk as fast! Try the riding every day - works wonders. But you might need the oxygen mask anyway to handle the car fumes. Then again, you could find a pleasant bike path which, while longer in kilometres and minutes, is safer, more pleasant and has the advantage of additional exercise thrown in. Plus you get to listen to the whole podcast - it's surprisingly annoying to never hear the end of the interviews because you've arrived at work.
They can't all ride as fast as you! Some are under 30 where fitness and health are a relatively recent memory. They actually think that they are still fit. Imagine that!
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